the sunshine state

more than a month since my last post? completely unacceptable. but i can blame a new job, a new state, new acquaintances and stresses; life just goes on all around us even if we dont want it to doesnt it?

park and i moved to california. well he moved me here and then went back to finish his mba (you go boy) while he was gone i learned that california is my long lost love. the people are the kind of laid back that makes you want to stop brushing your hair, oh and the hair! the hair here is perfectly sunned and full of salty waves. stars wander among the normal population and there are beaches with volleyball and surfing. or shells and tide pools oh and if you head down 15 more miles there are beaches with fancy shops and quiet walks.

and i dont even need to mention the weather because its 80 with a breeze always, unless you are within 10 miles of the coast and then you cant even feel the air because its that perfect

california makes me want to raise long haired, tan little surfer children. it makes me love cut offs and flea markets. california was made for me

in other news,

our first samples of pacpacks are here! my friend kabron and i are designing these rad little bags for kids tiny backs and i couldnt be more excited. (stay tuned for pre orders, you know you want one)

my little sis is visiting for a few weeks this summer. she is a stunna. not sure how i share a gene pool with her. its been epic having a sidekick.

we live in a town called riverside, it is about 30 miles southeast of LA. the locals call it the inland empire (its supposedly the ghetto place to live) but ill take it. maybe it’s because i havent ever lived in CA but i think it is perfect. e v e r t h i n g is within 40 mi of us. gritty sunset blvd, 10 gillion malls, restaurants of every flavor and the donut shops! save me now.

i once read this article; and while it was probably in vogue or allure, they have some pretty rad writers + it was about california. it told a tale of a city that was the first to do well everything. the juice cleanse, yoga, neon clothing, surfing, natural makeup, rock and roll and just about everything else originates in the sunshine state.

so naturally i feel much more “hip” here. but then also so inadequate, we are adventuring to the long beach flea market tomorrow in hopes of keeping up with the locals

people keep saying to me “California? Fun! When are you coming back to Utah?”

and i would like to set the record straight. . . never.

okay, never is a strong word

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on life.

ive had some mean writers block lately. the kind where even writing a paragraph entry in my journal is a strain and that’s not even creative!


i decided i needed to sit and stare at this blank white “edit post” page until something just came out, even if i have to squeeze it out, violently like i used to do to the nintendo controller when a fireball hit me on mario.

ive come to a few conclusions this week, just simple observations of my life that have opened little tiny windows inside me. i think that your whole life is made up of those fresh air moments. the little seconds when  you realize what this whole mess of a world is all about. this really weird thing called “life”.

i decided that every morning we all wake up and we dont even think about how STRANGE it all is. we rarely sit up in our plush sleeping plank and just look at our hands, our skin, our sleeping spouse and think… WTF. but i do that sometimes, because seriously, WTFreak… we are alive. does that even process; usually not. but on those days it does i just look at my little rue cat with her super soft gray fur and addictive pur (not trying to rhyme) and think… she has a beating heart and she needs me to live and someday she will cease to breath

and i will cry, because her “life” is gone. and hopefully all cats go to heaven

oh and besides that. what about flour? im standing on our freezing gray (but its supposed to be white) tile making pot stickers yesterday, that makes me sound fancy but really we just had leftover pork that would only taste delicious fried in dough, and im sifting flour and it just looks so perfect. like tiny, fluffy angel pillows. and in a 2 year old moment i reached inside the bowl and let my fingers run through it; and i loved it. i loved every single grain. i just love this life

it is so precious and fast. right now the sun is shining outside in a way that if you hold really still the utah frigid breeze wont stand a chance against its rays and you can just soak it in. and tonight parker and i are going to build and tape cardboard boxes into holders of things, of memories and yesterday and move them all somewhere else

boxes remind me of my childhood, i think ive lived in 20+ houses. the funny thing is i dont remember any of them really. i remember the life that went on inside them

i remember hiding all my toys under a giant blanket when asked to clean my room. i remember forts that had no end and stuffed animals that could talk. i remember white covergirl eyeliner and learning to shave, oh and the smell of aussie hairspray. i remember my mom making “mexican soup” and little corn tortillas fried with cheese. i remember scaring my little sister into tears just so i could rock her better. . .

lifes a big mess of things and goals, but i think when we look back we will remember one thing- that we were alive

holy junk its spring

well life has just been scootin’ right along and leaving me in the dust. all of a sudden its summer (well i hear from the news its supposed to be winter again here soon) but i mean thats utah, right?

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life has been a big cluster of events + i cant even keep up with them in my own mind or body let alone take pictures and blog about them; but ill try my best! parks sister is preppin for her mission to california and we could not be more excited/proud/blessed! she is .. a light + an inspiration. anyway, ill try and hold back my sappiness but can i say .. conference you did realllll nice this year. i only zonked out in 2 talks (personal record) and I even thought about taking some notes (on paper, not just mentally). on a serious note general conference really was moving, inspiring + just what i needed to spring my soul out of that gloomy winter. (my fave talk – Holland is such a boss)

we were lucky enough to spend the weekend with some of parkers family up at pineview lake in a cabin. i just adore cabins, there is something about the rustic decor and freedom to curl up in a cozy blanket that makes me swoon. we had reckless adventures with hatchets, bows + arrows and rifles (im sort of nervous about guns but im slowly getting over that). and we ate a lot.. as is normal with our family, mostly fudge.

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we also got to see the ravishing miss montgomery turn into mrs fiscus! such a perfect day; and speaking of weddings the super awesome taylor ballam got our wedding video done (i just die over it so excuse my oversharing)

<p><a href=”http://vimeo.com/63133719″>Felica + Parker</a> from <a href=”http://vimeo.com/ballamfilms”>Ballam Films</a> on <a href=”http://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

we have also made a big decision; park + i will be moving to the san diego area this june for a new big boy job (boom. take that college). i couldnt be more stoked for sunshine and proud of my sugar daddy.

im also semi getting the hang of this nannying thing. though the giant 2 year old poop diapers still make me dry heave, oh and the bloody boogers.

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-always, felica

curing baby hunger

as a newlywed blogger i realize i am missing a crucial ingredient in my blog recipe

offspring + because sugar daddy isnt quite ready to be baby daddy ive started a little side job; as a nanny (dum dum dum)

and i know, somebody else’s kid is like adding dry basil when the recipe calls for fresh but bear with me here okay? ive learned some hil ar ious things about 2 year olds i have to share

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first- they H A T E doing anything that you decide they should do. heaven forbid they dont make all the decisions

if you even think the word nap it will most likely be the complete and udder end of the world as we know it 

oh, + they prefer to eat anything with an extremely high amount of sugar

now sugar daddy is probably reading this thinking (yesssss, best birth control ever)  

but hold up, 

two year olds sure know how to pull at those heart strings. they love kisses. and oh! when he says my name (ma-wee- sha). and what about that super innocent smile they give as they back away from a situation in which they might actually have to wear clothing and then sprint off, their nakey little bums just taunting you

yeah two yr olds are pretty awesome. and if im all rainbows + butterflies about the “terrible twos” i better watch my back uterus; its in enemy territory 

 

this husband thing

so park has m a j o r jet lag. the past couple of nights he has passed out around 6:30pm & then he sleeps till about 4 in the morning; its rooouuughhh. come on india, you just took sugar daddy for 12 days and now this? 

only upside: lots of time to think (and read, watch my shows, do face masks) ha but mostly think.

life in this moment feels so endless. but then i talk with my parents or grandparents and they claim the opposite; that life is “gone in a wink”. which makes me wonder what the heck im doing with my wink

marrying my best friend/lover/partner in crime is the best thing that has ever happened to me. it has grounded me, made me confident & brought a whole new level of love for our savior. 

since about the time we got engaged i have had some family + personal challenges that have tested my foundation. i was always raised to “put on a front”; you know… “beast it” (please tell me you’ve seen beasts of the southern wild- a m a z i n g) but it got to a point where i just couldn’t anymore and i realized it was totally okay to let go. 

to just collapse + cry because park has my back. marriage is so crucial because we need that. we can only be superwoman for so long. and i am so grateful for that blessing; that heavenly father sent me this knight in shining armor. 

its the real deal this marriage thing, youve gotta try it 

hs dating advice + giveaway winner!

back to my knotted, gnarly + grungy roots. d a t i n g {wretched word really} who likes dating? def not me; and if you do im taking your temp tonight.

my little sis is a BABE. like, turnin’ heads takin’ names kind of hotness. like, megan fox better watch her blue eyed-pouty lipped back because audrey’s on her tail.

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well this fine thing went through something today. something we all remember. you’re first r e a l l y tough breakup. like that kind where you sort of feel like puking + passing out at the same time. (just me? haha) where it seems that your whole world is crashing down around you. like walking down the hall to first period will suck the life from your veins (dramatic? we all were.) the kind that takes a solid weekend (yeah, we were young and recovered quick) to leech the poison of the “it’s not you it’s me”

dang straight its you. its always those greasy haired boys who want to play more call of duty and bro out that do the breaking up. usually over text (or in our case msn messenger)

then why does/did it hurt so bad? if they are just useless and greasy, why does every taylor swift song hit wayyyy to deep? because; our hearts are so raw + fresh at that age. we havent been callused.

so as little as advice is absorbed at that age in these situations; this post is for miss Aj. keep your perfect little chin high. You are so young and there are plenty more heartbreaks to save your tears for. also, you are so beautiful; build your talents and your intellect and save them all for someone who will truly cherish you for the daughter of God that you are.

 

oh! and speaking of beautiful and talented! mrs sammy sweeten has won my giveaway (+ if you know her you know that this totally random drawing would fall in her favor!)

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sammy is the sweetest, kindest most loving person and she deserves this little treat! so sammy, send your address to felicaann@gmail.com and i will get you your prize lickety split!

 

the skinny on friends

 

 

sorry for the writing hiatus; i was in arizona. hal lel u jah. i needed the sun more than i can tell you. but im back to life in utah which means lotssss of down time, so ill blog a bit more :)

my week in az was spent with ms kym smith. soon to be mrs nelson {she gets married next week, so back off i know she’s a babe} kym is one of those soulmate friends. the kind that pretty much knows e v e r y t h i n g about you + its not even scary because you truly trust them. we had numerous heart digging conversations about love, marriage, the church etc. it was truly enlightening; like my own little rehab/spa. i learned a few things about friendship on the trip.

– there are really no “body boundaries”, enough said

– there is no such things as “mine” or “yours”. which is such a brilliant concept; to share, old school style like our mothers taught us.

– compliments are plentiful. i cant tell you how many times kym said “you look so ____” fill in the blank (great! cute, ripped! tan!) and vice versa. it really is refreshing to be grown, to have friends who are confident in themselves so they can also build those around them up.

– patience. oh sweeeet patience. i cant tell you how many times my sad butt was huffing on the trail behind kyms toned tushy. and what did she do? encourage me.   w a i t for me.  what a blessing.

yes friendship is such an amazing thing. and speaking of, one of my dears miss lizzy lou (aka slizzard, or just liz if you prefer) wrote a little “guest letter” to my readers. this is one of my favorite things; honestly. its like a little hazelnut creamer in your usual hot cocoa. so shes telling some single stories below + if you are feeling it here is her blog.. and you can read a little post from me there as well!

“I met our dear Mrs. Allen back when she was Miss Cox. And let’s face it; I’ve had a woman crush on her since day one. How could you not? Naturally I was flattered when we talked about the idea of writing a guest post on each other’s blogs.  So here I am people, a SWF looking for people to come join me at my blog and stay awhile.

My blog is about my dating life and the events that get me in between dates. I’ll give you a taste of the kind of dates I go on so you can see how awesome it is. Enter boy. We go on a group date. Or at least I thought it was going to be, but apparently he didn’t get the message. We get there and sit around for a good two hours watching YouTube videos, sing to the guitar, then decide to go to dinner at 9:30. We go to Chili’s where we meet up with my guys date. HAHA. Did this really just happen to me? I’m now the seventh wheel. Perfect. To make it better, I ended up paying for myself. After dinner everyone goes back to the boys’ house and homeboy promptly goes to bed. I get to sit there and do nothing while the other two girls and guys flirt with each other. Plus, we drove down from Logan to Cottonwood Heights so I was kind of stuck. Welcome to one of the better “dates” I’ve been on. You just can’t make this crap up!

But let’s get down to the nitty gritty. My name is Liz Buckner, I’m from Salt Lake, LDS, serial dater, workaholic, lover of food (seriously), traveler, twin and a student. Sounds pretty awesome, right? I think so too.  I’ve got a pretty awesome family who I just love so much it’s crazy and I have just as equally awesome friends. : ) What more could a girl want than that? To answer that question let me tell you what I love, and then I’ll answer. I promise.  Or maybe you’ll be able to guess.

I love my family. Seriously, nothing in the world compares to them. It wasn’t always peaches and cream. I mean, I don’t know of any siblings that didn’t argue over who didn’t do their chores, or wearing each other’s clothes without permission (and not to name names, but someone in my family still does that).  I think my sibs are the funniest people I know. My dad is a hoot and my mom is a rock star.  I love that they love me and I love them. Pretty much it’s a win- win situation.

So what else do I want in life? I want my own family to love.  I want a hubs, some kids, a goldfish, cats, dogs. The whole shebang.  Being single has been fun and all, but let’s face it; there has got to be more to life than awful first dates, being set up on awkward blind dates, and free meals. (As a side note: free meals are pretty great too.) But you catch what I’m throwing, right? If at the end of all this dating nonsense I get to have a family of my own, then it will be all worth it. In the meantime, I’ll endure making conversation about the weather over lunch.  :) “

 oh and isn’t this the cutest thing ever?! I need one.

-always felica

the powell trip were liz + i because fwiends

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a year

its spring break. holyyyy junk. its been one year since sugar daddy and i took that fateful ride from farmington to rocky point

one year since i fell in love with his grandpa like driving + addictive smile

its been one WHOLE year since our first kiss; man, time is a sneaky little snake. well i am back on the path of our love in arizona (but alas without my hubs) but ive got the next best thing; miss kym, she is filling my days with sun, hummus and getting swoll | and by swoll i mean her, she is an animal; im just over her getting itchy from the pre workout. oh and i lost my big toenail, it looks perfect {so do my grass vball scars, mmm}

i just adore arizona. its sunshine really brightens the damp soul of someone who has been trying to survive a logan winter.

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oh + probably need to out our engagement vid on here- badaaa ding bada boom

forever sleepovers

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you know that wobbly feeling you get inside when something doesnt quite feel right?

its sort of a mix of puky and anxious. i havent had this in a hot while but this morning sugar daddy left for india. i was all tough and “independent” as i jumped on my plane to arizona. i was happy + excited to be here all day.

then night hit like a big fat kick in the ribs, i havent slept without my love yet. i dont know how i ever did this before? 

you know that feeling of waking up at a sleepover and forgetting where you are? i feel like that only i havent gone to bed; mommy dont likey. its at these moments when the world seems to be going on around you + youre just warped in the middle that you realize how connected you are to those you love

how a simple kiss goodnight and the familiar touch holds you together; life glue. 

to be clear; i love my girls. i love this week of laxin’ with my main squeeze kym. this is just an ode to forever sleepovers. to my hubs. he is truly my rock; the simple things really are all that matters. 

 

giveaway virgin | cathrynann designs

so, im not really a jewelry person. it probably stems from my tomboy past. dangly earrings just rub on my face {i loathe stuff touching my face} and bracelets get in the way of e v e r y t h i n g; especially the important junk like eating, typing + writing.

but hey, everyone likes to feel all girly sometimes. i tend to lean towards simple necklaces + stud earrings. the other day i ran across a jewelry designer on insta. her name is cathryn. she makes these pieces of jewelry that all somehow mesh together into a collection of urban | gold | feminine | chunky but delicate goodness; mommy likey.

ive never done a giveaway but lets shoot for the moon. check out the pieces she sent me… rad right? | you can have some for yourself, enter below |

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want in on this action?

1. follow my blog (top left-ish corner of this page)

2. like cathrynann designs on the old Facebook

3. follow her on instagram @cathrynanndesigns

if you want to get crazyyy with some extra entries

1. follow me on insta @felicaam + comment on my picture of her designs

2. follow me on pinterest and/or twitter @felicaam

leave a comment for any steps you do!

pppps. these photos are brought to you by the infamous casey mcfarland; and the letter Z.

– this giveaway will end march 13