curing baby hunger

as a newlywed blogger i realize i am missing a crucial ingredient in my blog recipe

offspring + because sugar daddy isnt quite ready to be baby daddy ive started a little side job; as a nanny (dum dum dum)

and i know, somebody else’s kid is like adding dry basil when the recipe calls for fresh but bear with me here okay? ive learned some hil ar ious things about 2 year olds i have to share


first- they H A T E doing anything that you decide they should do. heaven forbid they dont make all the decisions

if you even think the word nap it will most likely be the complete and udder end of the world as we know it 

oh, + they prefer to eat anything with an extremely high amount of sugar

now sugar daddy is probably reading this thinking (yesssss, best birth control ever)  

but hold up, 

two year olds sure know how to pull at those heart strings. they love kisses. and oh! when he says my name (ma-wee- sha). and what about that super innocent smile they give as they back away from a situation in which they might actually have to wear clothing and then sprint off, their nakey little bums just taunting you

yeah two yr olds are pretty awesome. and if im all rainbows + butterflies about the “terrible twos” i better watch my back uterus; its in enemy territory